Most of you are probably familiar with the famous
Abbott
and Costello routine "Who's On First?" We are often
teased about this routine because of our use of Who,
What and How to describe Marketing/Sales roles. We
recently received a copy of a clever update to Abbott
and Costello's famous routine for the 21st Century.The
author is unknown, but we think you will enjoy it
anyway.
ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store... Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my
den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy
one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I
look in the Windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the Windows. I need a
computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something
I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run
my business. What have you got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you
recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my
office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has
windows! OK, let's just say, I'm sitting at my computer
and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue
W.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue w if you
don't start with some straight answers. OK, forget that.
Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want RealOne.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon.
What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me
what I need!
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see
reel 2,3 & 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: RealOne.
COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to
watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue 1.
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue 1.
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Realone and the blue w is
Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in office for
windows!
ABBOTT: No, just one. but it's the most popular
word
in the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many
other
words left. It pretty much wiped out all the other
words out there.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Realone has nothing to do with Word.
Realone isn't even part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again. What
about financial bookkeeping you have anything I can
track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my
computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy
Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy
money?
ABBOTT: Why not, they own it.